Distance and Discipline

    Distance relationships are inherently tough. A bit of an understatement if I say so myself. How does one comfort a loved one by wrapping them in their arms and holding them when their arms are 50, 100, a thousand miles away?

    Today's generations have it harder than those that came before us. Not because they didn't deal with distant relationship but because it has become more of a norm than an exception. With the advent of the Internet and social chat sites, online dating and a host of other avenues to meet people from miles and miles away, it only makes sense that more distant unions would and shall come about.

    As I said before, distant relationships are tough. Add to the mix the complexities of this thing we do and at times it feels overwhelming. How do I maintain my position of authority and head of household when I'm not actually in the household?

    Georgia and I are very new to DD. If you would have asked either of us if we could see ourselves in a relationship with this type of dynamic 5 years or even 1 year ago we would have probably looked at you as if you'd lost your mind (while thinking deep inside hmmmmm wonder how that would work).

    I've known Georgia pretty much all of my life. We met way back in kindergarten and although we didn't really grow up together we remained connected all those years (I believe there was some kind of secret ingredient in the gingerbread cookies she brought me for Christmas that year). We reconnected briefly a bit later in life. Somewhere in our early to mid-thirties around 2004 if I'm right. Then thanks to our feeble defenses against peer pressure we bumped into one another on Facebook. We began to talk and well one thing led to another and today we are here, traveling down the path of TTWD.

    Sorry to have traveled so far from the point of this post. Allow me to return now to my thoughts and questions.

    I've been struggling with how to practice (and learn) the ways of a HoH from a distance. I've established some rules for Georgia but I've allowed myself to use the distance as an excuse to not completely enforce them. I've been for lack of a better way to describe it wishy-washy.

    Recently reading several posts and comments about spanking I learned a bit from the receiver's point of view and their expectations. I've also learned a lot from reading a few posts from G herself. The one thing I've learned is that it's really about making G feel safe and loved and cared for. To fulfill her need for assistance in creating and defining structure, motivation, and consistency in her/our everyday life.

    I'm looking for advice from others that are in a distance DD relationship on ways to discipline and maintain an authoritative role when you aren't physically in the household. Spankings are obviously not an option while we are at a distance but I know there must be proven ways to exert my authority while we are apart and I wonder what other HoHs do.

    By the way my question isn't just to the Tops out there I welcome input from the Bottoms too.

~Scott