Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Resolutions

Well we are well into the new year and I've decided to try and put more into my blog. I'm not big on making new year's resolutions. I figure why should it take the beginning of a new year to motivate myself into doing something I should be motivated to do whenever the need arises in the first place. 

Georgia and I seem to be going through a tough patch right now. I contribute it to events such as coming out of the holidays, and transitioning back into the long distance relationship thing. Between Nov and Dec I spent close to 6 week in NC and a lot of that time was with her. It's hard gong back to only having cell, text and chat contact. It affects both of us but I feel it more in her energy than in my own. I think we deal with it differently. I think it is easier for me than it is for her. I go out to visit her, spend quality time there then return here to my regular work routine while she never really gets a break from her routine even when I'm there. I know she gets frustrated with the distance and  it may seem that I don't get as frustrated or feel the distance as much but I do. I tend to through myself into work to fight the emptiness I feel when I'm not with her. I hope she knows that I miss her and love her with all my heart. 

Distance...
The distance is beginning to drive me up the wall. I feel like we are in a never ending holding pattern and the forward momentum has all but stopped. The distance makes even the simplest things harder. It makes TTWD and be HoH very complicated. How do I enforce my rules? How do I motivate without a physical connection? Threats? Pleas?



Lately I feel like all I do is get frustrated by unfinished tasks and the feeling that since I'm not there it doesn't matter when or if a task gets complete. Georgia has an everyday task that she has to do. It isn't hard, doesn't take a lot of time but apparently it takes a great deal of energy since she can only manage to get it done about 40% of the time and most of that time I feel the effort is less than 40%. I've been very relaxed on quality in the effort to get her into a habit of completing the task. My theory is/was once I get her into the habit then I can push for more effort and commitment. I'm beginning to question that theory completely. Here is an example of what I'm talking about... She is supposed to spend a few moments every morning looking into the mirror and then write down 3 positive things about herself on a card. That was the original task. After constantly asking if she had done it and getting the same answer (silence = no) I compromised and modified the assignment. I agreed that she only had to write one thing instead of 3 and she could do in in a calendar on Google. This was still an everyday task. She has managed to complete it 7 days out of 19 for this month. This frustrates me to no end. It frustrates me that she can find the time to pull her daily card using "Path of the Soul Destiny Card Reading!" app on Facebook, or update her Facebook status but she can't complete the daily task I've assigned to her. Now some of you may be thinking, so what she doesn't write a note every morning she's a busy single mother and has more important things to do keeping up with the kids. That may be true but this isn't the only task she has put off or ignored. It took weeks to get her to call a lawyer to get her speeding ticket taken care of. This post isn't to rant about unfinished tasks though it is to ask the question...

How do I as a distant HoH, project authority and enforce rules when I'm not physically there?

Any suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated.