Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Fear, Excitement and the Future

"The truth is I loathe change... No, I like change... No I hate it."
Welcome to my mind. I often find myself torn between two opposing thoughts. One fighting to edge out in front of the other leaving  me, myself and I trapped and at it's mercy. The hardest part of this long distance relationship is not being right beside each other when either of us need support, be it an ear to rant to, a shoulder to cry on or just the comfort of holding one another during those tough times. Sure we can rant via phone, text, or chat and we can cry the same way. Let's face it though, there has yet to be a smartphone, computer keyboard or and social media chat function that can replace the warmth of your lover's arms wrapped tightly around you.

The end of September is quickly approaching. We've already burnt 5 days so far. My emotions have been pretty unbalanced since getting my official notice of release from my job. It's mostly been a roller coaster of ups and downs (my battling mind on overdrive). I seem to run the full gamut of emotions on a daily basis. I have my moments of fear; worrying that the move may not turn out the way I want. That is often followed by excitement at the possibilities that lay before us. Sometime during the day I will experience a strong sadness at the thought of leaving my daughter, friends and family behind. Add to all of this the mixture of happiness to finally be moving on to the next chapter of my life with the woman I love, the worries over the job market and how I'll manage to support myself, and all the little details around the work involved with moving and starting over. You can see how that would drive a man practically insane.

To cope with all the emotional swings I have several tools at my disposal. There is keeping busy with all the logistics of packing, tidying up loose ends at work getting things ready for the turnover there, writing in several blogs and of course my thoughts on DD once I'm physically with M. I spend a bit of my downtime going over scenarios in my mind. I often wonder how M will handle actually having a HoH in house. Will she be able to handle actually practicing DD as opposed to what we've been doing in the past (mostly talking about what we think DD should be for us)? How will we handle discipline with the kids around? How will I handle being a full time HoH? I know deep down we believe DD is a lifestyle we both want and we both believe our lives and our relationship will benefit massively from it.

Well, it's time for me once again to get back to the reality of everyday life. In closing I want to leave a few questions hanging for any of you that happen by.

  1. How do you handle discipline with kids in the household?
  2. What sort of discipline do you practice when kids are home?
  3. How often do you practice maintenance if you do?
  4. When you first started out what were some of the obstacles you remember running into and how did you overcome them?
  5. What advice would you give to new couples just beginning DD?
Until next time. Cya!!

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